Friday, May 2, 2008

Anatomy of Love - I

So much has been written about this word that I am not sure whether I'll put something new or not. Everyone might have his/her own views about it, but here I put some of my own views about love. And I don't say that whatever I write here is absolute. These are just my views. They might be correct; they might not be.
The first question that comes to my mind is whether love should be conditional or unconditional. And my answer might amaze you or even confuse you. I say it should be both.
Love should be conditional when it comes to the selection of person(s) whom we love. Love in its absolute sense is too precious to be given to each and everyone. Love, in a way, is response to the values in the persona of other person.
We come across many kinds of people in our lives. We like or love some; we don't like or love others. And at times we detest even the presence of some people. Why is it so? It is because we don't like their certain habits. Or in other words, certain aspects of their personality.
The list of habits or qualities that one admires or detests may vary from person to person and also with age and certain other circumstances for a particular person. When it comes to marriages in India, many people give preference to physical beauty much more than education. It is exactly the opposite with many others. Similarly, five years ago, I used to detest smokers. And no smoker could be my friend then. Though I still don't approve of smoking but at the same time I don't detest smokers or smoking now. And when I say that the list of such habits that we like or dislike may change, it doesn't mean that it would necessarily change. I didn't like lazy people five years back; I still don't like them.
When I say love, it could be for anyone. I love my parents so much. Most of the people do. But when I talked to a deserted child in an orphanage his views were not the same. The way he talked about his parents suggested a sense of disgust even at the mention of the word 'parents'. Why is there a difference in his and my response to the same question of love for parents? It is because his parents did not set an example of love and care that was expected of them. The values that were expected in their behaviour towards their child were completely missing or else they would not have deserted him in the first place.
Our habits together form our way of life and thus, shape our character. These values are reflected in almost all the works we do. And thus the values inherent in someone's character are the reason why we love someone and hate others. And thus when it comes to selection of people we love, love is absolutely conditional.
Here I should emphasize that I am not writing about the regular crushes that some people might have on actors/actresses and so on, though even in that case it is their physical beauty that is the reason for crush.
And when should love be unconditional? I'll explore this question some other time.

6 comments:

Sib said...

a good take on love

S Ramanathan said...

hmm...yes, too many ppl have written abt it, why dont u anatomize something else? mite be interesting....

sriraj said...

good anatomy,even try to present the physiology of love...that'll be more interesting

my inner world said...

such a mature piece of writing on love. i always believed that love is unconditional otherwise it is not love. your post made me think on the other aspect to it.
i loved the title too: anatomy of love-1.
will wait for the other part.:)

vanilla sky said...

well, love is conditional in a way that we love people for certain traits in them and unconditional in a way that we should not expect them reciprocate that equally ....

Viraj said...

@sib - thnx :)

@ ramanathan - did u even read d post? :P

@sriraj - will definitely do tht some time. thnx for d visit on blog. :)

@inner world - thnx. will write d other parts soon :)

@vanilla sky - i guess i'll hav to put a notice frm now on tht predictions abt my future post contents is strictly prohibited, else no one will read d blog if he/she comes across ur comments :D